LT:

Sex, Love, & Family In One

2010-03-13T11:46:00.000-08:00

They had to use God. How else could they sell it?

This is yet to be the biggest accomplishment of the human kind. The boldest move to achieve the impossible: physical attraction can be directed!; emotional bond can be rationalized!!; trust can be built!!!

"And you are married in the eyes of God."

Of course! God and everyone else have to keep watching to make sure nothing goes wrong, and still...

It's a game of truth or dare. I choose the truth. Do you dare?

Unfair Game

2010-03-10T02:26:00.000-08:00

Among everything, can happiness be an option in this framework? They say if you are responsible and reasonable...

A responsible individual goes to work every day; pays the bills; cleans her space; exercises; eats healthy;... she abides by the rules. Some things are necessary. If you miss them, you are in trouble.

A reasonable person never controls love; he never holds people accountable for their feelings. He respects people's change of heart and lets them go. Some things are optional. If you force them, they are not fun.

This way unhappiness is mandatory! You only have a choice to accept it or deny it. Either way, you are bound to lead a sad miserable life filled with obligations.

If...

2010-02-27T14:24:00.000-08:00

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

I made you to find me.

2010-01-18T14:18:00.000-08:00

Lines from "The Double Image" by Anne Sexton

I remember we named you Joyce
so we could call you Joy.
You came like an awkward guest
that first time, all wrapped and moist
and strange at my heavy breast.
I needed you. I didn't want a boy,
only a girl, a small milky mouse
of a girl, already loved, already loud in the house
of herself. We named you Joy.
I, who was never quite sure
about being a girl, needed another
life, another image to remind me.
And this was my worst guilt; you could not cure
or soothe it. I made you to find me.

Children of Hell

2009-08-02T14:42:00.000-07:00

I have been raped many many times! You say no?! I say you have been raped many many times too!

Don't you remember the young boys and girls who were slaughtered and raped at the political prisons back in 1980s? Didn't you have to take your aunt to a mental health clinic when she was released?...

Don't you remember the revolutionary guard and the basij militia watching over people and their each and every move in the streets? Didn't they almost take your pregnant mother with them because a little of her hair was showing and your father had to beg them to let her go?...

Don't you remember the day you saw a big guy whipping a man in the main square because of the smell of alchohol on his breath? Wasn't he screaming? How about the day you saw a women in black shaving the hair of a teenage girl because she had highlights? Didn't you look at her face to find her crying?...

Don't you remember having to lie at schools everyday about your family's religious beliefs? Didn't they frequently question you if your father would drink alcohol or if your mother would pray?...

Don't you remember fearing the men with guns at any party with music and dancing? Didn't you have to spend the night of your cousin's wedding in arrest along with the rest of the guests and the bride and the groom?...

Don't you remember the day your brother was drafted to fight for that guy's greed? The guy whose big pictures on the walls would always scare you . Did your brother ever return from the war?...

Don't you remember the bombings? Didn't you have to run to the school shelters after each red alarm with your classmates? Don't you remember constantly praying that the bombs wouldn't hit your mother's office or your grandmother's home?...

Don't you remember the lies? Don't you remember the violence? Don't you remember the constant fear?...

I know you can't forget June 12th. The day that our last right to freedom was taken away. I know you can't forget that day and all the unfortunate events that followed: the images of the guards attacking your friends with batons while they are screaming, the news of the injured and the deceased coming daily from the prisons, the details of the tortures of the journalists and the human rights lawyers and activists, the crying of the mothers and fathers on the gravestones of their young daughters and sons who are murdered in protests.

How did you feel when Abtahi had to deny them all on the National Television? When he denied himself. When he denied you.

Didn't you have tears in your eyes? Didn't your hands get as cold as ice? Didn't you feel pain in your stomach? Didn't your legs go numb? Didn't you feel betrayed, abused, desperate?...

We all have the symptoms of people who have been raped and we don't know the reason. I tell you why: we have been emotionally, intellectually and spiritually abused for more than thirty years!

اصل مطلب

2009-07-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

یکی بهم می گف، من نمی فهمم چرا مردم قبل از س ک س همیشه همدیگه رو میبوسن! آخه مگه غیر از اینه که هدفشون چیزه دیگس اون موقع؟

یکی دیگه می گف،‌ چرا مردم به هم که میرسن،‌ سلام میدن قبل از اینکه حرفشون رو بزنن؟ آخه وقتی جلو هم وایستادن دیگه ضرورتی نداره!

انصافا ایراد هردوشون وارده! تعارف و تظاهر و خجالت رو که بذاریم کنار،‌ به نظرم خیلی به این بستگی داره که خود طرف براشون مهمتره یا کاری که باهاش دارن

what's in a label?

2009-07-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

but I've never needed to ask!

I've felt your jump when that little girl fell down; I've seen your frown when that old waitress got yelled at; I've heard your scream when that helpless woman was abused; I've tasted your tear when that young boy had to work for a living;

no! you can't fool me!

when you give without expectation; when you embrace without preservation; when you love without reservation; when you forgive without hesitation;

you an atheist?!
impossible! it takes a deeper sense to be like that. it takes compassion. it takes God...

سوگواری

2009-06-29T01:15:00.000-07:00

دخترم،
وقتی یه کسی، یه چیزی میمیره، مبادا با غمت تنها بمونی!
یادت باشه که همدرد میخوای. وگرنه یه چیزی توت میمیره. نمیدونم چیه. ولی بعدش انگار ترس داری از زندگی و زنده ها!

عزیزم،
هر موقع دلت یه کسی رو خواست، قبل هر چیز باید بدونی که اگه یه روزی رابطتون بمیره، اونم با تو به عزاش میشینه. این مهمه

auto pilot

2009-05-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

you need to have a safety net, or else!

yes, it's easy to think rationally now. but try it when all those emotions rush in. when the brain shuts down and the instincts take over...

when,
you find it hard to get out of the bed,
you have reoccurring nightmares,
you are drinking every night and sometimes during the day,
you can't eat or can't help devouring junk food,
you sleep with a different person every night,
you keep forgetting what people tell you,
you don't notice days, things, people,

and what if all that fail to cease the pain?
if the body becomes helpless when ambushed with racing thoughts, and hard beating heart...
if the body finds no other option but to let go, just like the brain...

you suddenly open your eyes and find yourself standing on the edge!

will you jump?
you can't be certain. no one can.

prelude

2009-04-29T17:05:00.001-07:00

how can I break through?

when you hide behind the loudness of a laugh; the unconsciousness of alcohol; the smoke of a cigarette; the illusion of a joint; the click of a camera; the wordiness of a weblog; the anonymity of a crowd; the distance of a phone, or a chat box.

too many walls, my weak hands and your yearning eyes. ah, you liar! I know if I break the walls you'll run away!!

don't worry. stay safe there. no, I'm not going anywhere. I'll sit by your shadow on this wall, with open arms. maybe someday...

looking out

2009-04-21T11:19:00.001-07:00

I'm running out of stories about me. or rather, I prefer to write about you. this in no way will be intrusive or contemptuous, as I only feel strong admiration and compassion towards you, my friend.

how to raise your bottom line

2009-03-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

it's simple. treat yourself like you treat others.
this is not a joke!

here's how:
sit in front of the mirror. carefully smile at the person staring back at you. avoid getting friendly right off bat. remember that you have been ignoring her/him before. show some respect first. start by apologizing. don't argue, just do it. then continue with the small talk. slowly direct the conversation to more personal details. when s/he talks really listen.

repeat this at least two times a day.

Choices by Nikki Giovanni

2009-02-26T07:11:00.000-08:00

if i can't do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don't want
to do

it's not the same thing
but it's the best i can
do

if i can't have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i've got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

since i can't go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn't lateral

when i can't express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know
but that's why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry

lean on me, I'll be your friend

2009-02-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

at the end, you'll be grateful. you'll know it when you hear yourself saying: I've been there, I can relate...

ah, the pure pleasure when you know what someone needs to feel better. when you know what he is going through, be it happiness, or sadness. the ultimate joy when you can reach out to him and offer a helping hand.
there's nothing like it...

that's all that matters. don't you think? when people don't pass us by unnoticed. when we don't miss their tears, their smiles. imagine that! then nobody will ever feel lonely again.... then we can be truly kind to each other.

be many people! walk a mile in everyone's shoes! travel everywhere! try everything! don't be afraid of getting hurt. you'll recover. don't be afraid of getting lost. you'll find your way back. don't be afraid to feel; to love; to hate; to try; to fail; to have; to lose. the experience, the wounds, the memories, the sorrow, the laughter, they make your heart a lot bigger. so big that next time someone is falling, you'll exactly know when and how to catch them!

time

2009-02-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

is such a relative concept!
...I'll do it later
...I've done it before
...wait
...hurry
what's later? when was before?

have you ever stared at the arms of a clock?
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock
a minute has passed, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year...
what's different now? what's changed?

if it takes me x minutes to travel from point a to point b, and it takes you y minutes, providing that we start at the same time, on what point of the road will we meet again?
beg your pardon? oh no! we're not running in a loop....

time...is such a relative concept!

next time you're making plans, don't forget to ask:
how fast do you think?
how fast do you feel?

Pilot Eposide: The Inauguration

2009-01-24T13:02:00.000-08:00

It was a huge success! More than 30 million watched it live, and many caught the rerun. After 2 years of commercials and anticipation, the turn out was still above everyone's expectations.

The very handsome African American family embodies hope, promises change, a change in this very disastrous situation, a reverse of the downturn. Really, who can blame people? With two overseas wars, and the economy meltdown, stronger measures are needed, a much more effective drug than sitcoms and aimless reality shows. For they may help you sleep at night, but can they get you out of bed in the morning?

However, I am deeply concerned that by emotional investing in the 8 seasons of this mirage, people set themselves up for an irrecoverable fall.

Flights of the Mind

2009-01-24T10:45:00.000-08:00

from the pages of "An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness" by Kay Redfield Jamison

There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you're high it's tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one's marrow. But, somehow, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends' faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against - you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.

feeling too much

2009-01-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

sadness is a mixture of feelings. it's not original. sadness is being ambushed by all the emotions at once.